I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
