We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
