Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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