he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
