i jhust puked up my retainher.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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