It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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