Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
