Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
