Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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