margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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