Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
