We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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