Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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