no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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