just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
