the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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