They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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