i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
