Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
