Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
