He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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