he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
