is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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