I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
