All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
