i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
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