every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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