saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
