I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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