i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
