The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
