She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We got so high we made milksteak
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
