If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
