I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
