on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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