from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
