is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
