you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
