haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
