let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Houston, we have a squirter
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
