I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
