And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize