Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
