You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
