you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
