I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
