Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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