Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
