Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
