Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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