In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Terrible idea I love it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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