I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
